I Loved Him First

It is hard to believe that almost two weeks have passed since the arrival of Giada Rose. I finally found the strength to put her down (she is too stinkin cute I never want to do this). Today, I want to take some time out for my husband, I want to celebrate him. I titled this post, "I Loved Him First," because I have found in these past 11 days since Giada has been here it is easy to get so wrapped up in her, to hold her constantly, center all our conversations around her, and hit the pillow as soon as she falls asleep for the night. So today, I want to stop, and remind myself that I loved Jason first, and if it wasn't for this love, we wouldn't have our beautiful baby girl. My husband is perfect...for me. That is the beauty, we all find our match, and they are all perfect for us. Since the birth of Giada a lot has changed, I have been moody from time to time, we are stressed and tired trying to figure this new gig out...mommy and daddy. In the midst of it all Jason has been leading his Fresno High Baseball team through the playoffs. Yet, he has heard me out, he gets up at night to make the bottle, he has tried to be a husband and dad while juggling a very stressful end of a baseball season. Although, it hasn't been perfect and we have had a couple of nights of frustration that has been taken out on each other, but we have survived 11 days. Yesterday was the end of the season, they made it to the valley champioship game! They had an amazing season, went 28-3 overall, 15-0 in league, broke home run records, Ken celebrated his 600th win and they received NYL coach of the year. That's a lot of accomplishments in one season. So yesterday we played Garces from Bakersfield at home and we lost a tough one, 4-3 in 8 innings. Jason was devastated, he is taking it very hard. It broke my heart. It hurt me so much to see him hurt so bad. He said two things to me that stung the most, he told me that he just wanted to win a valley championship with his dad and then he later told me that he felt like he failed, like he let so many people down. Ouch. Tears are welling in my eyes as I type. I couldn't help but ask God why in my prayers last night, why can't stories like this win? No matter what I say, no matter how much I bring up all the accomplishments they have had this year it is not going to take his pain of the loss away. I wish he could see what I see. A coach with more passion for his players than I have ever witnessed, a hardworker who spends hours (often more hours than he spends at home) at the field working with kids or working on the field, a son who wants to carry on his dad's legend, a loyal teacher and coach to Fresno High, a mentor to his players, a role model who changes the lifes of student athletes, a teacher who makes sure his athletes succeed and graduate high school, and a husband and father who is learning the balance of it all and sincerely making an effort. I always tell Jason that I can't imagine what he would do as a coach in Clovis, I know he would put in the same time and energy, combined with all the raw, natural talent he would have he would take these kids to new levels. That's the truth. He makes kids better. He helps kids achieve. He takes them places they never thought they could go. Ask them. Go out to the field and watch him coach, you will see it. I want him to know I am proud of him and that he is a champion in my heart. I wanted to take time out to put him first today. To honor him. As I told him last night, next year they will compete and they will achieve things with their team they never thought possible and maybe next year he will get a valley championship with his dad.Hardwork and passion has to pay off eventually right?

So, next post I will blog about Giada's welcome to the world but today I wanted to put my husband first. I want him to know how amazing he is. Now we work on establishing our new family of 3! What a blessing he has given me! Love you J!

After their semi-finals win!

Hugs, Annie

A Window into my HEART

As we are within weeks of Giada's arrival I thought I would share the mess of emotions I go through each day. Seriously, one needs a map to navigate my heart. It is my hopes that with our next baby, God willing, I can read back through this blog and either A) laugh that I was so nervous or B) be reminded that I had the same emotions the first time and everything turned out okay! 

I think I feel over 25 emotions each day, but there are 5 that stand out and speak the loudest. So here is my heart as I prepare for the arrival of our sweet baby girl.

1. Anxiety: Yup, worry. I have it and I have it bad. It is the fear of the unknown. For me it revolves mainly around labor and delivery. When is it going to happen? How? Where? What will I be doing? Who will I be with? Will I be able to have a natural delivery? Will I be induced? Need a c-section? I feel like someone is in my head hitting the rewind button every half hour. I calm myself down by looking around at all the women who have delivered babies. I got this. I am as tough as the next. Then there is the other end of the anxious feelings; the longing I have to finally meet her! What will she look like? How much will she weigh? I can't wait to hold her in my arms...I can barely stand it! These are the anxious emotions I want, the excitement of it all. Somehow, they must balance each other out because each day I get by, one foot in front of the other (with much prayer).

2. Tested: This ties back into my last emotion of anxiety. I have always been a worry wart. It is in my nature, I can't help it, I want to, but it is my daily sin. This pregnancy has been God's way of testing me further than I ever thought possible. There is nothing worse than being pregnant, wanting to lather yourself in the joy of becoming a first time parent and hearing sad, horror stories of babies born not healthy, or spending time in a hospital around sick children, or losing loved ones. I know God is asking me to trust Him, lean on Him, I am not in control, He is, and He is good all the time. Like I said, I fail at this test every single day, but I am trying and I have confidence at the end of this I will have grown, I will have learned a lesson and I will be better because of it.

3. Blessed: To be able to carry a baby, to feel the kicks, the movement, to now feel her little foot jab in my side...what a blessing. There are things I know I am learning about our sweet Giada while she is in the womb. For example, she needs her own space. If the dogs lay on my belly, or I rest my arms on my belly she will let out a jolt of a kick to let us know that's her space...move out! I can only laugh because it sounds just like her momma. I love my own space. Then there is the blessing of all the out pouring of love we have received from people. Thank you, from the bottom of my heart, to those of you that have been by my side through this pregnancy. Those that have called at least once a week to check in, see how I am feeling, ask how my doctor's appointment was etc. Then there is the blessing of my husband. I always knew he was wonderful. He spends hours in Buy Buy Baby with me, listens to all my worries (and assures me all is ok), has put together numerous baby items I keep hauling through the door and the list goes on and on.

4. Scared: Okay, so I make it through delivery (which is scary in itself), we take our sweet newborn home...then what? Will I know what to do? Will I be a good mother? Am I prepared (I guess as much as I will ever be)? What do I do if she won't stop crying? I can read as many books as I want but it doesn't mean I will remember what to do or that it will work! Fevers, baths, clipping nails, feedings, waking up at night! I know we will figure it out, the beauty of it, we will do it together. I know that we will have help from our parents and friends. I know it will all be okay. We will just put one foot in front of the other and keep on going!

5. Love: My favorite emotion. I feel showered in love. I feel love for Giada and Jason. We love this little girl with our whole heart. The best part...everyone says once she is here it is a love you have never felt before. You mean it gets better? Bigger? Bring it. Through these past 9 months Jason and I have grown closer, my love for him has deepened. I have seen him in a different light already. I know he is going to be the best daddy in the world, he will be wrapped around Giada's finger, she is so lucky. Jason has the biggest heart, when he goes in, he goes all in, he does everything full out, This will include being a dad. I can't wait to watch him and fall deeper in love with him as I watch him with our baby girl. I will be driving along in my car and a song will come on the radio, a song that has become my favorite, and every time I hear it it brings tears to my eyes. All I see as the words come through the speakers is Jason with Giada. So sweet. It is Darius Rucker, "It Won't Be Like This For Long." I posted the song below...enjoy!

Our sweet baby girl...can't wait to see her!

 She smiled!

This is the Dr. Seuss quote from "Happy Birthday." I want Giada to remember this each and every day!

Thanks for listening to my heart!

Annie

Giada Rose's Completed Nursery!

Well, here we sit, 5 weeks away from Giada Rose's expected due date and finally the nursery is complete! I love it, every little detail about it! We could not be happier with the way it turned out, above our wildest expectations. I had all these ideas floating around in my head, and it all came together. I owe so much to Mandy Walter (projectqueen.org), I would bounce my ideas off her and she would help me tweek them to make them fit. She made the chalkboard frame, and chevron frames, re-furbished my parents old dressers as well as painted the gold frames and the walls. She is very talented. Her friend custom made the curtains for me, I feel so blessed by these wonderful ladies who helped make all my nursery dreams come true! Much of my inspiration came from laybabylay.com. It is a wonderful blog that features nurseries, head on over and check both blogs out, you won't be disappointed! I can't wait to bring her home to her nursery. With 5 weeks left we are on to sterilizing bottles, washing clothes, and packing hospital bags! Enjoy the pictures below, I know I sure do, I love to just sit in the rocking chair and stare at the room, it is more than I could have imagined! Hope our precious Giada will enjoy it as much as we do!

Enter here... Waiting to fill frames with Giada!Refurbished Dresser, projectqueen.org, hardware ordered on Etsy
Birdcage (inspired from laybabylay.com) used aas bow holder Missing the topper for the changing table, still on backorder, yikes better hurry!Chevron frames (projectqueen.com), love the bubblegum pink!
Corkboards for bows, pictures, card letters, you name it. You can see the chevron rug inspired by laybabylay.com
Crib with embroidery hoops, you can see her princess chandelier drooping down too!
Crib, bunting banner ordered from EtsyEmbroidery Hoops
Love this...
Love the mirror, it's her level, she will have her grubby little fingerprints on it in no time!
Sweet nightlightHer little critter reading chair and bookshelf...her level, can't wait to see her reading here! Lots of frames to fill!
View from the door, the chandelier is amazing, made such a difference!I want my sweet Giada to always wish and dream big!
Hugs, Annie, Jason and our little sweet pea who is almost here!

Visit blogs here...

http://laybabylay.com/

http://projectqueen.org/

Giada's Nursery Update

With May quickly approaching we are finally turning the heat up...nursery in high gear! It is so much fun preparing and planning, visualizing, shopping, dreaming...I am loving every second! The problem is, anyone who knows me knows that I am impatient and impulsive. I want what I want and I want it now! Month long processes just don't stand a chance with me! So...now that we have REALLY started look out! We had the walls of her room painted this week and received the rug that I ordered, wow what a difference, it is already starting to shape up. I have met this amazing woman who has become a fast friend, Mandy Walter. She is the project queen...literally. She paints, refinishes furniture, makes things you would never imagine could be cute look beautiful! AMAZING, simply amazing and she is helping me with "project nursery!" She spent many hours at my house painting this past week and I am so pleased with the way it has turned out. We have a long way to go but I am beginning to see the light! This week's project...getting the blinds back up, picking out fabric for the curtains, taking the light down and putting the chandelier up! Can't wait to see what a difference just that will make. Mandy is working on refinishing a dresser for me...I will have the before and after in a later post, can't wait to see it complete! In fact, she actually has quite a few projects going for me...feeling so blessed that she landed in my life! You can visit her blog here at http://projectqueen.org/ and see how amazing she is yourself! She is also documeting the nursery so go check it out. She has before and afters of the room (I forgot to snap the before pictures). Enjoy the pictures below and stay tuned for more to come...

Shopping at PBK in the Grove for the nursery

Giada De Laurentiis's house, while in LA we visited with Jason's cousins who live down the street from her. Had to get a glimpse of her house. I will share with our Giada someday! The room from the door. Light will come down, chandelier up, blinds and curtains hung, dressers put in, walls decorated...so much to do but it is taking shape!

Her crib...fit for a princess! Love the name banner!

The cozy, comfy glider...

Visit Mandy Walter's website at http://projectqueen.org/

Hugs, Annie & J

Ringing in my 30th Birthday!

I know I am so behind in the blogging world, it's unreal and so not like me to not get things done in a timely matter! BUT, I wouldn't want to miss documenting momentous occasions that I can look back on later down the road. SO behind or not here goes nothing! I celebrated turning 30 on December 31st, it was one of those birthdays I was dreading, wanting to look past. But, now that the day is here and gone turning 30 wasn't so bad. Nothing feels different, I still think I am 21, and from this day forward when someone asks me how old I am it will always be 29. We rang in the New Year and celebrated my birthday with some of the best friends I could ever ask for. My friend Kristin organized a trip to Shaver to stay in her family cabin. I will always hold this birthday near and dear to my heart because I have not celebrated New Year's with these girls since we were 20 years old. It meant so much to have the group all together, we shared laughter, reminisced on the past and created new memories. It was a wonderful birthday and I know that I have so much to look forward to this year. So, cheers to being forever 29!

Kirtie singing "Happy Birthday"

Dave, Jason, and JamieHappy New Year!Having fun with our party favors...thanks Kris!Happy New Year from the PapisOur party favor bags from KristinHe melts my heartLove this girl with my whole heart!Friends Forever!

Love, Annie & J

And So It Begins...Giada's Nursery

Christmas is over and the New Year is amongst us. I kept telling myself as soon as Christmas is over I will begin the nursery. So here I sit, eager, anxious, overwhelmed and confused. I know what I like, I know what I want but somehow I can still go so many different ways. I have spent numerous hours on my ipad searching and sifting through images of nurseries, blogs featuring nurseries, etsy, pottery barn, you name it. With each website I visit I fall in love with something else, my mind is stirring like crazy! I just want to start! So we did. Yesterday we headed to Pleasanton to do some damage at Pottery Barn Kids and a little shopping for us of course! We spent the majority of the time in Pottery Barn Kids registering and purchasing. I am pleased to announce Giada has her first pieces of furniture; her crib, dresser, and changing tray...and oh is it sweet! I can hardly wait until it is delivered and set up, it so so girly and feminine with antique detailing, exactly what I had in mind! I fell in love with bedding, lamps, dolls, you name it so of course we left the store with some goodies in hand too! My wonderfull in-laws joined us and we had a wonderful day shopping and eating. I will keep updating as I go along, it will be a process and will consume our time (when not at baseball games) until she is here! This afternoon we are hitting Home Goods for some one of a kind of finds and Lowes to purchase the paint for the walls! Stay tuned...let the madness begin!
Hugs, Annie and Jason

A Joyful Christmas

As always my Christmas was wonderful. This is our 4th Christmas together and we are starting to get in the swing of things, keeping up with old traditions while adding some of our own. I can only imagine what next year will bring when Giada joins us! We did our traditional Christmas Eve at Grandma Papi's. Ken dressed up in his Santa suit and entertained the kids (maybe the adults more). Ann put together a Christmas show for the girls and they entertained us with their renditions of "Jingle Bells,""Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer," and even threw in a little Taylor Swift. The boys jumped in the show too, until they realized all eyes were on them, then Luke would just stand and stare...so cute! We filled up on sandwiches, chicken, salads and yummy desserts, opened presents and laughed the night away. Christmas morning was at our house with my mom, Don, Emily and Derek. We opened presents and ate a wonderful Christmas breakfast. It was a moring shared with laughter and joy. We talked a lot about what Christmas will be like next year, this was my favorite part. I love thinking about Giada being here, establishing new traditions; doing the things I did with my mom and dad during the holidays. After we finished breakfast we headed over to Michelle's house to open gifts with Ken, Peg and Michelle, the laughter followed us there. We stretched our gift opening out into hours because we were having so much fun talking, listening to Christmas music and laughing. We rushed from there to Stan and Margo's to meet back up with all the Papi's and my sister. Dinner was incredible, prime rib and salmon, cooked to perfecion as always. The kids played "Just Dance 3" on the Wii and we sat around chatting for hours. Katie and Travis shared the exciting news that they are expecting their 3rd bundle of joy in July! So happy for them and excited that Giada will have a cousin so close to her in age. Can't wait to find out if it is a boy or girl! It was the perfect end to a perfect two days celebrating CHRISTmas together. So much joy is felt amongst those we love and care about the most. Jason and I were so blessed this Christmas; with our number one blessing being LOVE, from family, friends, and above all Christ. We hope you had a very Merry Christmas!

Our Christmas Eve Show! Logan
Hannah

Our Entertainers

Hannah wanted her mommy to join the show too!

This was Luke's immediate reaction to Santa walking in the door...

Santa Clause (aka Ken Papi)

Santa giving the kids love

My In-Laws, Mr. and Mrs. Clause

Lincoln modeling his new Raider gear

Hannah modeling her new pink jacket...she's a natural!

Merry Christmas Eve!

Christmas Morning at our house

My sissy and mom

Derek!

My mom and Don

Merry Christmas

My only picture from Christmas night, too busy chatting! Luke playing Just Dance 3! His shirt says "Big Brother"

Love, Annie and J